Our area has the Connections Homeschool Program that works with local principals and staff to allow students to take certain classes “in building” and participate in co-curricular/extra-curricular activities like sports. After speaking with one of the advisors at Connections I’d decided that Colleen would do the majority of her academic activities at home with me and be at school every afternoon for the last hour to take music, P.E. and, one day a week, band. She would also be after school participating in volleyball.
The advisor was very concerned about my “punitive” attitude toward homeschooling and felt that I might be creating a “reluctant learner” by pulling Colleen out of her social world so abruptly. While, in a way, this decision was partially punitive and I was sure that Colleen was going to see it that way, I wanted the experience as a whole to be a positive one. And I couldn’t see me teaching music or P.E. effectively.
So with all these calls made and schedules lined out and facts checked I felt that I was in a position to break the news to the girl.
Do I do it before Christmas, potentially ruining her entire holiday? Wait until after in the interest of allowing her a good time? But that felt a little like a lie and she was leaving on the 28th for ten days to visit her family in Maryland. John suggested I wait until after he got home because he was worried I wouldn’t hear her creeping up the steps in the middle of the night with a filet knife. In the end I decided to tell her after the last day of school before the beginning of Christmas break.
The conversation went something like this:
ME: “Colleen, I need to talk to you about something.”
COLLEEN: “Yeah, Mom?”
ME: “I’m not happy with how things have been going around here. Basically, our relationship sucks and I’m tired of it. I spend all of our time together yelling at you and I can’t imagine you like it either.”
COLLEEN: “No. Not really.”
ME: “Well, you know why I’m always yelling at you, right?”
COLLEEN: “Because I don’t pay attention and I don’t get things done?”
ME: “Right. And part of that is your fault and part of that isn’t your fault. It isn’t your fault that you weren’t taught from the time you were your sister’s age to do the stuff I want you to do. And it isn’t your fault that you haven’t been around me long enough to learn how. So, I’ve decided that we need to spend more time together so I can teach you this stuff and so I don’t have to spend all of our time together yelling at you.”
COLLEEN: “Okay.”
ME: “So I’m going to homeschool you next semester and possibly the first semester of next year, too.”
…
ME: “You’ll be at school pretty much every day, anyway, for P.E. and music. You’ll still do your flute with Ms. Simondsen.”
COLLEEN: “Will I still be in volleyball?”
ME: “Yes.”
COLLEEN: “What about Battle of the Books?”
ME: “Yes.”
COLLEEN: “Okay.”
ME: “Okay? Do you have anything else to say about it? Thoughts, questions, observations?”
COLLEEN: “Well, I mean, my social life is going to be reduced to you, Morgan and the dogs.”
ME: “Don’t forget about Princess.” (Our pony.)
COLLEEN: “Yeah, but she doesn’t like me.”
ME: “Well, you’re taking this all really well.”
COLLEEN: “What were you expecting?”
ME: “Hysterics.”
COLLEEN: “Well, Mom, I could say a lot of other things about this but it wouldn’t do me any good.
ME: “Ah! You’re learning already!”
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