Penetrating the bureaucracy: Teaching our children to be successful by learning how to manage their own paperwork.

One of our responsibilities as parents is to prepare our children to be financially independent, contributing assets in the communities in which they choose to live.  The best way to do this is to give them the skills they will need to succeed in school and the tools to help them start thinking about what their lives will bring.

That task starts in infancy, of course.  We teach our little ones to be mindful of others, to pick up after themselves, to be helpful.  As they move through grade school and approach middle school, however, this job becomes more about managing their time between home and school and keeping their paperwork organized.

This seems like such a mundane and silly matter compared to the big questions like “What are you going to be when you grow up?” but think about it:  How is your kid going to be anything if she doesn’t know how to file for a replacement birth certificate?

When I came of age my parents reluctantly handed me a greasy envelope containing my creased birth certificate and social security card still attached to the stub.  My dad frowned and said, “Are you sure you want to take these?  They’re hard to replace.”  That was at the very dawn of the internet and to replace the documents would have required actual phone calls to Juneau, self-addressed stamped envelopes and weeks of waiting.   I had never before seen those documents and I carefully tucked them into a jewelry box to keep them safe.

It is not so difficult now to file for the necessary documentation if one has ready access to the internet but often the families who need the most help via social service programs, don’t have a computer, let alone internet access.  I have literally seen families where children go without needed medical care because their parents do not know that services exist or they do not know how to go about obtaining them.

Imagine a child with parents like those above, she could be the smartest child in the world, who works hard in school and gets straight “A’s.”  She really, really wants to go to college to be a doctor so she can help poor people.  She tells this to her high school guidance counselor who says, “Well, you’ll need to fill out the FAFSA, look online and pick out some good pre-med schools, find some scholarships…  You’ll probably need to get some letters of reference…  Come to me if you need help with your personal essay.  Bye, now.”

Where does this kid start?

My sister and I are first generation college graduates.  I’ll give my little sister public props by mentioning that she received her Bachelor’s in Social Work a full TWO YEARS before I got mine in History.  When I began the process of going to school full time and was faced with the above task, I called her for help.  “What the HECK am I doing?”  I asked her.  “I know,” she said.  “And it doesn’t get any easier.

I was 25-years-old!  How is a kid, fresh out of high school with parents who know as much as she supposed to handle this task?

Teach your children about their official documents.  Show them their birth certificates, social security cards and shot records.  Let them help you do taxes every year.  Let them file their own imaginary taxes on the 1040-EZ.

Help your kids set up their own savings account at your local credit union.  Even if their beginning deposit is only five dollars, wrapping their minds around the process will be invaluable.

Set up a filing system for yourself and for them and show them where their things are kept.  As a family, go to the local library and apply for library cards for everyone.  Learn, as a family, how to get on the internet at the library or other public access points even if you have access at home. 

Take your children to the DMV and let them get official state ID cards.  As a family, apply for your passports.  If you can’t afford a passport, consider a Nexus card which allows travel to Canada and Mexico and is significantly less expensive.

When a medical form or other document comes along which must be filled out, swipe an extra copy and help your child fill it out at home.

A passing familiarity with all of the above processes will give your kids a head start when it comes to their grown-up lives and grown-up responsibilities.  It seems that ignorance in these matters becomes generational and it’s a shame that a kid’s potential can be lost because they are overwhelmed by paperwork.